It's Squit!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005

So, Squit the Younger gets the nod for top Tory factotum.

Following the Conservatives' example, I've now given responsibility for our household to my five year-old daughter. Sure, I have more knowledge and experience but she's a hell of a lot cuter. When I report back in a few months that we've all got scurvy due to our diet consisting of nothing but Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream and McCain Smiley Faces, at least I'll be secure in the knowledge that the important decisions were made by the best looking member of the family.

Cameron wants to end "Punch and Judy politics" (anybody else utterly sick to the back teeth of that phrase?). He also, clearly believing that the last drop of meaning has yet to be bled from it, bandied about the word "consensus". Political geeks are wetting themselves at the prospect of Prime Minister's Questions today when it's actually going to be like the episode of Futurama, A Head In The Polls:


LEELA: Don't let their identical DNA fool you. They differ on some key issues.

JACK JOHNSON: I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far.

JOHN JACKSON: And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough.

Yay for politics.

Still, there's always hope that PMQs will be a dispiriting, unsettling experience for both Blair and Cameron.

See Blair, yesterday's man, hair thinning, eyebags swinging, mortality looming, his dead man's stare burning across the despatch box at the Young Turk, a vision of what he once was.

See Cameron, Man of Tomorrow, his rictus grin wavering as he regards the sight of virility spent, of promise unfulfilled, opposite him - the vision of what he is to become, like a portrait in the attic.


7 Comments:

On December 07, 2005 11:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You would be very unwise to hand over running your household to your 5 year old.

She may demand you stop drinking.  


On December 07, 2005 11:52 AM, Blogger Justin said...

Yeah. Cheers for that.  


On December 07, 2005 12:27 PM, Anonymous Rochenko said...

How can you be so cynical? At least he doesn't look like a penis dressed up in a miniature suit and tie, unlike Hague and IDS. And he has a bike. A bike!  


On December 07, 2005 2:37 PM, Blogger snooo said...

Did have a bike, or rather used to regularly use it.

From what I could tell this morning, that was very much a chauffeur driven car he got into.  


On December 07, 2005 3:00 PM, Blogger Justin said...

As the flashbulbs exploded around him, David was pedalling in his heart. Pedalling towards victory.  


On December 07, 2005 10:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Politics and bicycles, an odd mix. Our favourite current US President rides a mountain bike, although in typical US fashion, he doesn't actually use it to go anywhere. Plus, remember that photo opportunity at the '97 Amsterdam EU summit that turned into a race.  


On December 08, 2005 9:34 AM, Blogger Gavin Ayling said...

I for one am really excited about this - maybe things will change, maybe!

But quotes from the Simpsons always win my sympathy! The two aliens are also appropriate now...  


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