Strange correspondence
Tuesday, April 12, 2005

So anyway, I got an email from Alastair Campbell. Unlike that spoof blog that's got knickers in a twist, I think this is the real deal. As chilling as a knock on the door in the middle of the night.

It's written with the wit and vigour we've come to expect from Alastair. He talks of "the ludicrous Letwin" and "the vile (interestingly an anagram of evil) Daily Mail".

When not indulging in this clever wordplay, the email tells us to watch the election broadcast on television or online. I've had a look at it and if even a scintilla of the stories about the Blair and Brown feud over the years are true then the cosy conversation between the two men in this broadcast is insincere, stage-managed, intelligence-insulting horseshit. The British public should feel incensed yet again.

I need to watch it again because the first time I saw it, what they actually said didn't go in because I was so gobsmacked at the sheer breathtaking brass-neck of the whole enterprise. I notice also that the broadcast implores us to "vote Labour" despite Blair declaring the next term would be "unremittingly New Labour". Since the difference between the two is like the difference between Ben Affleck and Marlon Brando, we should think about doing Blair for false advertising.

Campbell meanwhile, has done more to pollute the British body politic than any other single person in the last ten years. The blame for the destruction of trust in politics, not to mention too many lives to count, can be very firmly laid at his door.

I realise that these emails I and other bloggers take the piss out of are actully meant for New Labour supporters but I do wonder how much of a rallying figure Campbell is to the rank and file who would describe themselves as real "Labour" not the strawberry Angel Delight version Campbell is straining every sinew to shill. He's like the bloke you pal up with in your first week at university and then spend the rest of the term avoiding when you find out what he's really like. In this case, a foul-mouthed, inarticulate gobshite with delusions of adequacy.

UPDATE: More from Tim. Someone's been letting Milburn at the computers again.


2 Comments:

On April 12, 2005 9:06 AM, Blogger Ryan said...

The emails may seem targetted at New Labour supporters, but they have obviously made a decision to send them to anyone and everyone who's email address they can get their claws on.

I started getting them after the Ask Tony A Question type thing they did not long ago. I asked something to do with why he was such a lying twat, and lo and behold, my inbox is filled with these cosy jokey matey nauseating emails.

I'm sure there are many floating voters interested enough in Labour to ask a question but not so won over as to be charmed by this offensive. And they're going to be as riled by this as the bloggers taking the piss.  


On April 12, 2005 9:10 AM, Anonymous Rochenko said...

So that's what 'positive campaigning' comes down to? Tony and Gordon limply brainstorming like two junior ad-men with a deadline looming. 'It's about the Future, and the Many not the Few'. Forward not Back indeed. Upward not Downward. Good Stuff not Bad Stuff. And of course we need far more This, and a whole lot less of That while you're at it, guys.  


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